Is he interested, I am head over heels in love with him

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QUESTION: Dear Teen Connect,
I am now 18 years old. In the last three months I have been communicating with my boyfriend on Facebook and by phone. I have never met him in person, but he is one year older than I am and a Christian. I am in Kingston, and he is in Clarendon. The thing is things are changing and I am becoming frustrated as it seems he is no longer interested in me. He no longer speaks for long hours with me, and I hardly see him on Facebook anymore.
I asked him about it, and he just says he’s at church, and lately he says he has a lot of family problems he’s trying to deal with. Almost every night he says he is at church, and I can wait on him. We have had many quarrels.
I really like him, and want to be in the relationship with him, but I am not sure if he is too. When I tell him that I want to break up with him, he says “ok”, like he isn’t interested. Do you think he is interested in me? Sometimes when he has free nights, he invites other people on Facebook to call and calls other women “beautiful. This makes me feel disrespected.
Do you think if we meet up things will get better, or I should follow my mind and break it off for real. Is it because we have never met or is it because he really doesn’t care?.
Frustrated Teen

RESPONSE: Frustrated Teen,
It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to realize that one of main causes is the Fact that you both have never met. Added to that you seem to be expecting too much in too short a period. In these modern times, some people do have great relationships from communicating on the internet and phone only, some even just by internet only. However, it does not seem to be working in your case. Things are happening too quickly and you seem to be expecting too much in too short a period.
If you want this relationship to work, you need to really listen and try to understand this young man especially as he seems to be saying a lot. He says he is having family problems and that he is caught up in a lot of church activities. He is trying to tell you he is feeling pressured and has a lot on his mind. He did suggest you can wait, so it may be that he is interested in you as well.
Perhaps you need to concentrate on being more of a friend, and less on becoming intimate with him at this time. Then try to give more support as a friend. Why don’t you offer to pray for him or at least try to get him to share more about his feelings without making any suggestions or offering any solutions.
When you and this young man get to be good friends, you will understand why he calls others beautiful and he will understand what makes you hurt.
The best relationship is built on friendship.

Teen Connect

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... a team of professional experts, mostly Jamaicans, from varied fields of counselling, teaching, academia including pastors, ministers, specialist teachers addressing the culture of youth. Issues submitted are dealt with on a one-to-one and regardless of the topic. Information is researched, then published, on this site, in the interest of the wider youthful public.
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